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When all you hear is bad news – since the coronavirus hit the world – it’s challenging to stay positive and hopeful. Indeed, we should take this global pandemic seriously. It can cause debilitating diseases, even death, and extreme changes in the way we live and make a living. Worst, it can bring the world economy to its downfall. That’s why it’s so easy to focus on disasters like this one. Up until today, COVID-19 and its negative impact on us seem to be the major topics that we see everywhere.

These sad and depressing thoughts are definitely counter-productive. But let’s not let them dominate us. We have to arm ourselves with knowledge about the outbreak and how we can protect our loved ones and ourselves. We don’t need to be experts to lean these things, nor do we need to listen to all the bad news that will only do us more harm than good. Let’s focus on making a positive difference and spreading good vibes to the people around us. Here are some simple things that we can do.

Be Reminded Of The Past, But Don’t Dwell In It

Gather strength and hope from past experiences that have helped you become stronger. Undoubtedly, you have endured one or two challenges in your life, like hurricanes or financial distress. You’re here now, and you made it through, so think and believe that you will get through this as well.

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Don’t Over-Consume

This applies to almost everything. Don’t overeat, or else you’ll develop chronic conditions in the long run. Additionally, I know Netflix is a big hit, especially in our shelter in place moments, but don’t sit and watch movies all day and forget about your health and your future. Limit yourself to one movie and take a break to work out or do something worthwhile. Watching unpleasant news the whole day won’t help either. It will only increase your anxiety and stress levels. So turn that television off and spend time planting in your garden or cooking something delicious for the family.

Care For Your Neighbors

You’re lucky if the whole family and safe and healthy with enough food to eat and water to drink. But what about your neighborhood? How are they holding up? If they’re not as fortunate as you, is there something you can do to at least lighten their burdens? Maybe share some of your food or water? How are they feeling? Check on them through the phone or virtually. Ask if they’re feeling well. If there’s someone who is sick or tired, make it your responsibility to call the necessary hotlines so medical care will reach them.

Support Local Businesses

Social distancing guidelines are placed upon all communities and must be heeded. Despite this, many small businesses are doing what they can to thrive, and you can help them in your own little way. Restaurants are currently not allowed to receive dine-in customers, so perhaps you can order some food from your local diners once in a while. You might need some things for the house, and a community shop is willing to take orders online, so check it out. There may be things you can buy from them. It’s time to help your community now more than ever.

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Be Kind To Others

Leave a tip for the delivery guy who brings your food when you don’t have time to cook. Have some coffee delivered for your next-door neighbor who seems tired of working and taking care of his family. Write a short but uplifting message to someone’s wall today. Or just send an e-card to the people you haven’t seen since the pandemic started. Your little acts of kindness will surely go a long way for those who need it.

During these challenging and unpleasant times, all of us need something to hold on to – a positive note, a smile to brighten one’s day, or a hug to comfort the sad. Staying positive will help families, and communities get by and even survive this global crisis. It doesn’t cost a thing, so give it sparingly. We can do this. Spread some positivity! If you still find yourself worried about all the uncertainties around you, get online support from BetterHelp. You can send a message on their accounts on Facebook and LinkedIn.

 

 

The 2018 World Business Forum is the last business-related conference that I ever attended. It was not because others banned me from coming, no. In reality, I received a few more invitations after that, which I declined politely.

The reason was that the process became a little too old for me. I used to go to such events to shake hands with CEOs and sometimes join the panel. I would bump shoulders with wide-eyed entrepreneurs or competitors, acting all excited to see each other. Despite that, we all knew that we were merely sizing one another up.

I guess I had gotten more cynical as I aged, but you ought to realize the ironies of life in the business world.

Someone’s Downfall Can Be Your Success
When a company files for bankruptcy, it means that you have fewer rivals than before. You may express sympathy when you cross paths with the failed businessman, but you won’t go as far as consoling them. Instead, a lot of business folks even hold a party for someone’s loss because it can open the gates to their success.

Bad Publicity Is Still A Publicity
People in business are no different from celebrities, in the sense that they welcome any publicity. Were you caught committing infidelity, for instance? That’s awful for your marriage, and your company may get dragged in the mud, but it still gets your brand in media outlets.

You’ve Made It When Others Spread Rumors About Your Business
Some competitors can go as far as spreading rumors about your company. Whether they are true or not, the fact that they spend so much time plotting against you is incredible. It typically indicates that your presence in the business world threatens them too much to hit you below the belt.

Final Thoughts
You have every right to disagree with the thoughts above that I fondly call as the ironies of life. However, I doubt that you will. Deep down, you know that there’s truth in every word, and we all have to live with it.

Still, no matter how much you struggle, try not to be the kind of business who does all those shady things. You can always be better than that.

There is so much diversity in the workplace nowadays, especially when a leader is expected to take care of everything. People are not born with an above-level quality of conflict management, so the process of addressing issues within any kind of scope is complicated. It requires skills and a better understanding of a lot of possible causes of social conflict.

According to business psychologist April Lyons, “The understanding, regulation, and use of emotions by leaders can have a substantial impact on their ability to lead. This connection is supported by research showing that emotional skills are critical to the successful performance of individuals at the executive level. Further, the more someone progresses through the organizational hierarchy, the more important emotional skills become in their success.”

In most companies, there’s a tendency that people will try to avoid confrontation. They somehow create an illusion of harmony that’s not even present in the workplace. The method may apply to some conditions, but in the long run, it will create interruption and disruption among employees. So when there is no resolution to the issue, we can conclude that the work environment is not conducive enough for positive development.

What Is Leadership?

Leadership is the art of encouraging and inspiring others to contribute their effort, abilities, and minds to a particular goal or vision. It aims to reach and achieve success in the most productive way possible. Since building a positive working environment requires deep and committed relations among involved people, leadership stands to be its control system. It supports a network with high values, respect, transparency, and integrity.

The Scope Of Leadership

Leadership is never a popularity contest. It is more like a commitment and a full-pledged responsibility. It doesn’t require favorable returns, but rather signifies respect. People need it to be efficient and motivated. It’s the heart of every team and the foundation of every task. Since leading requires an excellent example of all positive approach, one must understand the values it contains. Leaders must act as models of the behavior they expect of others.

Finding Voice And Affirm Shared Ideas – Leadership affects the behavior and productivity of the team. It’s a tool for guiding common ideals and principles between a leader and its members. It helps in aligning actions with shared respect and values to achieve target-present and future goals. Since understanding how diverse views can lead to the creation of another idea, identifying and working on the same purpose and objective must take place.

Leadership Consistency – The process of handling people is difficult, especially when not all of them openly agree with everything a leader tells them. The way of modeling a leader’s process of earning respect requires involvement and direct action. Therefore, a leader’s words and deeds must stay consistent. Though in some instances, a leader’s work is more important than his words because it will determine how strong-minded and committed he is in his position.

Eric Haseltine, Ph.D. has this to say about Walmart’s success: “In other words, it didn’t matter how well things were going for Walmart, Sam and the rest of the company were never satisfied with the status quo, and constantly strove to find new opportunities and new ways of doing business. This constant passion for innovation and change drove Walmart inexorably to the top.”

Personal-Best Projects – A good leader sets an example through different tasks that affect both the positive and negative statuses of a workplace. There’s a required demonstration from a leader of how to sustain and commit to his beliefs. It looks back on the history of personal-best projects that resulted from steadfastness, relentless effort, attention to detail, and competence. There must be a maintained performance to strive for the betterment of the resolutions along the way of achieving success.

Strategic Approach – A Leadership ensures guidelines, procedures, and systems to work so it can assist the team adequately. It creates a strategy that convinces its people to participate willingly without having so much of a complaint. Leadership is responsible for understanding and communicating with its members so they can all build a deliberate vision and decision of the organization’s familiar challenges.

Psychologist Antonette Zeiss answered in an interview about leadership, “Never turn your back on a wave. This is a metaphor meaning be willing to stay involved even when there are big waves coming in. You can ride some of them, can ride over some of them—there are many ways to manage them, but make sure not to avoid them. See them as opportunities, not something to avoid.”

In a workplace highly swamped with diverse people, leadership takes the process of attaining harmony and peace. Its domain is not about demanding or wanting positive results to happen. But instead, it aims for an available and manageable system of a more willing and motivated people.

 

The things that happened in the past are the things that aren’t happening right now. Stop locking yourself in the darkness if you want to be free. Stop holding on to the negativity of the past and reach into the light of the present and the future. Release the heavyweight that burdens you if you entirely want to move on. Let go of the things that cripple you and be free. Stand up, fight, and move on.

“Holding on to pain doesn’t fix anything. Replaying the past over and over again doesn’t change it, and wishing things were different doesn’t make it so,” says Ilene Strauss Cohen Ph.D.

There’s always a moment for you to create the best life. You only need to stop allowing negative thoughts from stealing the joy you have. Don’t ever let it enter and live inside your head. Because if you continue to ignore the existence of the negative things around you, you’ll end up under its control. Sadly, it is the worst part of the battle that you might have to take.

It’s true that there are times that you won’t be able to handle all the life’s dilemmas and you will suffer from the pain and agony it brings. But it doesn’t have to stop you from moving forward. That’s life. The only way to handle all the emotional and psychological suffering is through your willingness to create a difference. Therefore, never allow it to invade your mind, change the way who you are, and affect the way you see things.

The Battles Of Your Mental Health

Each area of your life follows an order of existence. It doesn’t stay in one particular place but moves around in circles. The cycle of sadness, sorrow, anxiety, stress, and depression creates a system that blocks you from achieving what’s good in the world. By the time you notice the changes it could bring to you, you already might suffer more than you know. If this persists, seek help. Try BetterHelp.com.

When there’s a piece missing, you can expect something to fill that up. It could either be good or bad things, depending on what’s your current situation. But if your mind allows deterioration, then it is going to be so much harder for you to continue living. So before you make decisions that will affect the future, always consider taking the time. Breathe and picture out everything in your head first. Don’t rush into giving in, but don’t hold back to what makes you whole. Be prepared in facing every trial along the way and never surrender regardless of what happens. Remember, to always care for your well-being.

“It hurts. I get that. But what you do with that hurt is probably more important than the hurt itself. Would you prefer to get backd to being an active liver of life? Or do you prefer to ruminate endlessly about the past and something that cannot be changed?” – John Grohol, Psy.D. 

Motivation Attracts Positivity

It’s hard to control life and expect things to happen the way you plan it. However, the motivation and goals you have might change everything.  If you focus on the good side, the reward of the hardship becomes ten times more fulfilling compared to the assumptions of getting it without spending an effort.

As John L. Schinnerer, Ph.D. wrote in his article, “If you are looking for the best results in your workforce, you will focus more of your time and energy on positive, internal motivation for yourself as well as others.”

Success is different when you put your heart and soul in it. It becomes something that pushes you towards happiness and satisfaction.

If you think about it, those people who are now experiencing a great life, they are not just lucky. They work hard on their dreams and make tons of sacrifices. They shed tears and sweat only to get to where they are. That’s because no one achieves anything without striving for it. No one becomes happy without telling themselves they have to. When things don’t turn out great for them, they immediately move on and start doing things all over again.

Your life is what you make. Every decision is your choice. So everything that happened and will happen to you is based on your thoughts, emotions, and actions. You can do anything. You only have to let go and move one. Seek help if you must.

 

You are not perfect, and that is okay. Sometimes, even if you believe you can deal with things correctly, there is that stuff that you do that you are not supposed to. In most unfortunate events, you make mistakes often. You may believe that your ability is enough to support the ideal goals you have, but it sometimes doesn’t go that way. There are moments that even if you think you are great at being a leader, you miss out on understanding essential things.

“Leaders of all ranks view admitting mistakes, spotlighting follower strengths and modeling teachability as being at the core of humble leadership.” – Bradley Owens, Ph.D.

Tolerating People

One of the apparent things you unnoticingly do is tolerating people. It is where you let things go because you believe it is not something that can affect your capability of being a leader. Sometimes it is more on always considering things that benefit one particular person only and not giving everyone the same treatment. It is like you being unfair to the needs of others because of the focus you have solely on the one who somehow does negative things repeatedly.

Not Setting Up Boundaries

Being a leader it allows you to be in a position where you can make better decisions for everyone else. It is not about power, but more on the burden of responsibilities. However, sometimes, due to your desire to not wanting to hurt others from your decisions, you excuse yourself from setting up boundaries. You tend to lose control over your position to lead. As a result, you become someone who is not worthy of following and admiring.

Losing Dependable Grip

A leader listens to his subordinates all the time. However, it does not mean you need to follow all of the people’s suggestions and comment on their opinions. If it gets to that point, it only means you are not capable of creating meaningful decisions and that you exclusively rely on what others tell you. You tend to lose a dependable grip because you think you don’t have better ideas to contribute. It becomes a problem because, as a leader, you must be the one that guides and not the one that takes credit for the effort of others.

Larina Kase, Psy.D. says, “When we think of what makes someone a great leader, one characteristic that comes to mind is decisiveness. We do not envision successful leaders standing around appearing unclear and uncertain. Instead, we view them as people who are able to quickly arrive at their decisions and communicate the goals to others.”

Relying On Someone Unreliable

The problem with being too soaked in a leadership position is that you tend to rely on people. Regardless of their ability, attitude, and personality, you sometimes do not focus on the negative sides. That is okay, honestly. It means you value people’s good traits better than hating their negative ones. But trusting an unreliable individual too much is something you must stop doing. It only adds to stress and frustrations, and that is not a leader should do.

Joe Wilner, a licensed clinical psychotherapist, says, “The leader that blends these skills together is one that takes a strengths-based approach. Optimal functioning and performance come from using strengths. This is how people can maintain motivation, stay fully engaged, and reach greater productivity.”

Being a leader takes guts. You have to be the one on top so you can guide others. But you also need to be the lowest one so you can listen. Every responsibility is different from one another, and that goes to situations as well. If you find yourself making some of these mistakes, please allow changes in your leadership once and for all.

 

Leadership is about who you are, that affects what you do. It is where you have the potential to handle people regardless of their status, capability, educational background, and skills. However, sometimes, some tasks are too exhausting and stressful. That is especially when the people surrounding you do not intend to listen and follow guidelines. At some point, this particular scenario often makes you lose your confidence. You become unsure of your ability to manage things when they are in defensive situations. But do not let killer anxiety takes place. There are better ways to counter that.

Larina Kase, Psy.D. believes that “Great leaders understand how to balance emotion with reason and make decisions that positively impact themselves, their employees, their customers and stakeholders, and their organizations.”

Have The Best Self-Esteem

The most excellent definition of self-esteem is the ability to like yourself, no matter what. It is where you value the things you do and trust in your potential. When you admire and respect yourself, you are more likely to behave and perform better. That is mainly in handling yourself in very unpleasant situations. When you live your life along with your most profound principles, you are more likely to become great at handling not only yourself but others as well.

According to Stephanie Campbell, LMHC, “People often let one negative event impact how they feel about themselves overall. If you find that you easily fall into a destructive thinking pattern, it is important to develop skills that will help to bring you out of that dark place.”

Build A Balance Of Everything

Balancing everything is a tough task. It is not always that you can handle things according to your ways. However, taking the right risk for the right reason in the pursuit of obtaining specific objectives and goals helps a lot. It allows you to become better at analyzing, assessing, and avoiding stressful decisions. With that, you become more confident and capable of maintaining your role as a leader. The balance you get from handling yourself and others will help you in deliberately creating meaningful resolutions in uncertain situations.

Practice Courageous Leadership

Continually practicing courageous leadership, boosts your confidence. That is where you learn the importance of risk-taking. That even if you engage in a situation that promises no uncertain outcome, you stay calm and determine to try different things all over again. Practicing courageous leadership allows you to understand your limits and tests your capabilities to an allowable extent. That is, regardless of not knowing the possibilities of determining the result of your actions to an exact degree.

Understand You’re Not Always Right

Organizational psychologist Dr. Nicole Lipkin says, “A growth mindset is a belief that we can always develop our abilities further. The growth mindsets don’t view failure as a confirmation of their immutable abilities, but rather opportunities to learn and grow from the experience. Thus, the growth mindsets don’t shy away from experiences where they may not succeed because it’s all part of their self-development continuum.”

As a leader, you indeed need to be courageous. However, it does not mean that you should close the door and not listen to the idea of others. It is essential to understand that not because you are “the leader,” you are always right. Never be afraid to question your assumptions, and ever make conclusions based on one particular angle only. Avoid getting caught up in your ego and be open-minded as much as possible. It helps to add leadership confidence when you admit to your shortcomings.

Being a leader, you should be honest with yourself and with others. Always remember that there is a vast difference between confidence and incompetence. Note that your ability to see things differently is vital in sustaining a confident leadership. Therefore, you need to stick with your principles, respect yourself, be more than willing to listen, and take a step at a time.

Kou Murayama, Ph.D. has this to say about motivation: “Motivation is important in almost every aspect of human behavior. When you make a decision, your choice is certainly influenced by your motivational state. When you study mathematics, your motivation to study mathematics clearly affects the way you learn it. Despite its obvious importance, empirical research on motivation has been segregated in different areas for long years, making it difficult to establish an integrative view on motivation.”

People always hear the word “motivation” every time they aim for something good in their lives. But the thing is, it’s not that possible to secure. When you are not motivated to do things that are not inspiring enough, there’s nothing there to look forward to doing. Meaning, even if you “think” you are getting motivated because you have these goals you perceive in your head; still it’s nothing. Every effort, time spent, and energy becomes meaningless. It doesn’t sound healthy.

Every motivation varies from time to time. It’s not like achieving fixed future goals. Let’s say you have a motive to go to school, work on the daily household chores, do great in your job, and even pay bills on time. Perhaps all of these can become a motivational task. But, how is that different from any other goals you have in life?

“Understanding motivation gives us many valuable insights into human nature,” says Beata Souders, Psy.D. candidate.  It explains why we set goals, strive for achievement and power, why we have desires for psychological intimacy and biological sex, why we experience emotions like fear, anger, and compassion.

The problem with motivation is that it doesn’t sustain a level of standard. When there is an “unimportant” goal to achieve, it gets often ignored and becomes not-so-big of a deal. When things get rough and complicated to handle, the possibility that the remaining motivation left can turn into less valuable stuff that a person only uses whenever he needs to do something. In some unfortunate instances, it affects the things that people are passionate about doing.

A Waste Of Everything

Things become a lot concerning when you seek motivation to do the things that take a lot of time with little satisfaction. Let’s say for example you picture out yourself doing things that you love and eventually lose the interest of continuing. The act of starting a particular activity but didn’t care to finish it is one way to describe it as a loss of motivation. It quickly went out of hand because you somehow find no reason to proceed anymore. Therefore, the spent time, energy, and effort just all went down to waste. That is because the motivation to do all the work is never present in the beginning.

The search for motivation is comparable to a long journey. It is not instantly there. It requires something to light it up. It is not like you put it into account just because you know you have to use it for immediate purposes. It is never easy to get motivated. So when you don’t find that particular thing that makes “motivation” burn like fire, you can expect losing hope.

Unsolicited Advice

You can find a lot of motivational videos and articles on the internet. Somehow, some of them will matter. However, the large percentage of those encouragements won’t surprisingly mean a thing for all we know. That’s because there’s no such thing as “here is what you should do.” The only thing that will make a more significant sense is your willingness to push yourself in doing something that presents you happiness and satisfaction. That is how you sustain the motivation that you are looking for.

 

“What the chronic advice-givers’ suggestions—often gratuitous and unsolicited—typically betray is a powerful need to prove to themselves that they could deal with your difficulties better than you could ever be expected to.” – Leon F Seltzer Ph.D.

The visualization of the goals you want to achieve is helpful but not entirely convenient. There is still a part of it that moves you away from maintaining a healthy and well-developed mental balance, per se. And when you start thinking that there’s nothing good about working on things the hard way, you lose all the chance of getting the best results.

When it comes to the art of maintaining motivation, there is utterly no answer to that. However, the mental wellness you have can help determine the structure of your aim goal. Meaning, the opportunity to focus and concentrate on the things you do and want to achieve can have a layout. From there, the possibility of strategically working on success is at a high rate.

 

 

There are tons of morning routines that you can look for on the internet. It could be an article, a video, or even a podcast episode. If you have noticed, the majority of morning routines are focused on what you should add to it or the things that you should do. In this article, I will try to break down the opposite and focus on what you should stop doing instead.

Checking Your Phone – It somehow becomes a norm always to check out social media early in the morning. However, you need to stop checking out your phone when you wake up. According to Dr. Nikole Benders-Hadi, “Immediately turning to your phone when you wake up can start your day off in a way that is more likely to increase stress and leave you feeling overwhelmed.”

There are precisely three reasons that explain why. First, when it becomes your morning act to check on your phone, it affects all the possible energy to build a focused muscle. From there, you won’t have enough motivation to do anything for quite a few hours. Second, you won’t be able to control the habit. Even if you wanted to only check on it for five minutes, you’d end up wasting 20 or possibly go for hours. Third, you’ll end up hurting yourself. No healthy position allows you to stay comfortable while checking out your phone for an extended period. Using it for a long time gives you a bad postural position. And if you continue the habit, you can end up causing nerve damage.

Eating An Unhealthy Breakfast – It’s understandable that most individuals easily fall into a pattern they used to do every morning. And when it is already a habit, it somehow means impossible to change it in an instant. In most books, you’ll usually find things about how important it is to eat protein and fat-heavy breakfast. That’s because it decreases the feeling of anxiety. We all know the mantra: breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Susan Albers, Psy.D. says, “It can help to power your day like starting the day with a full tank of gas versus running on fumes.”

However, most people like to eat a lot of carbohydrates and sugar when they wake up. But neither of those things will sustain healthy energy that helps throughout the day. So instead of eating unhealthy, try propping up your meal in bulk. Make sure to add lots of fruits and vegetables in it. It will surely save you a lot of time, money, and effort.

Hitting The Snooze Button On The Alarm – You probably already know that this is part of the list. Whether you deny it, you somehow made this a habit. Hitting a snooze button means you typically deny yourself a good quality of sleep. When you are interrupting your sleep cycle and attempting to get to a new one after, you’re already making the morning routine worst. Hitting a snooze button is a horrible idea because it means you already failed to do the first thing you set up in the evening. Therefore, the motivation on the set intention gets ignored. So, make yourself a favor and get out of bed once the alarm goes off.

Complaining – Admittedly, a lot of people wake up in the morning and complain. It is an issue for some to get up early. Some of them complain that it’s too early, others think they haven’t slept enough, they feel exhausted and everything, etc.

“First, one person states a problem. Next, another person responds by offering suggestions on how to solve it. Then the first says, ‘Yes, but…’ and proceeds to shoot down the solutions offered,” explains Psychologist Eric Berne.

The problem with the attitude of continually complaining early in the morning has a tangible effect on your subconscious and level of motivation. It deprives you of having a positive mental state that is beneficial throughout the day. So instead of focusing on the things that you hate, think about some stuff that you can be grateful for the day.

You can always find the best morning routine that suits you. Information is widely available. But for those things you need to stop doing, make sure you know how to set it right.

 

 

 

There are things about people that I entirely do not understand. One of those is these individuals’ ability to hate me for doing the things I want to do. These people feel entitled to say whatever they want because they believe that I am not doing things correctly. It is as if I am not worthy of having the life I want because it does not fit their standards of happiness and success. By that, the option of letting go of me becomes their priority. But why is that?

I No Longer Serve Their Purpose

Yes, I know a lot would agree with me that there are people who love using others for their advantage. These are the ones who often believe they deserve everything without instilling too much effort. These are people who only see me as a tool for their convenience. That when I can no longer sustain the kind of effort I usually give, they immediately leave out of my life. They are often demanding, aggressive, impatient, and full of shit. These individuals are great to have when I can provide for them. But when I no longer serve their purpose, I become an instant outcast.

Diane Barth, LCSW told Psychology Today, “Books have been written about narcissism, “Generation Me,” even “healthy” selfishness. But when someone you have to deal with regularly is consistently self-involved and self-centered, they can make your life miserable.”

I Can Do Things They Can’t

People hate me because of the guts I have. Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT, says, “These people feel threatened by my capability of doing things all by myself. Those people are afraid I might accomplish things without having them around and not including them for the credits as well.”

The ability to control my life is something they wished to have. I become a target for insult every time I think about better ideas. I am not worthy of their time when I speak of the ways of how to make things convenient for everybody. I can achieve things without someone’s help. I can manage my life even if I am all alone. Those strong qualities I have are the reasons why they do not want to be around me.

 

I Don’t Spend My Money With Them Anymore

It is sad to know that people are born users. That no matter how much I try my best to become successful, I am still not worthy if I don’t share the blessings with others. Well, not that I should complain about giving, though. It is always nice to help and share your blessings, of course. But what makes these people different is when they only care for me because I spend more for them. It is as if I do not fully feel them, not unless I mark a price on the things they should do for me. It becomes weird because it feels like I am paying for stuff that I want to feel and experience from the people around me.

“When you doubt your own importance, you’re allowing the manipulations of difficult people to gain a foothold,” said Ryan Howes, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist.

I somehow understand a bit of the psychology of social relationships. But this particular thing is something beyond what I thought I know. People can have all the insecurities, desperation, and inconsistencies in the world. Unfortunately, not all of these individuals are aware of that damaging perception.

 

When you are motivating yourself to reach success, it is common to experience tons of discouraging moments. Sometimes these hindrances take everything away from you. It ruins your ability to think correctly. It wears you down up to the point that you can no longer function, and it makes you feel worthless. There is something about it that crawls up in you, which you can never explain. There is this feeling of ungratefulness that you begin to have without thinking about the good stuff. It becomes the number one problem in terms of achieving your goals in life.

“Regardless of the source of discouragement, it is there and the once great project is no longer getting any of your attention.” – Christine Hammond, LMHC. 

Discouragement And Its Effects

The problem with discouragement is the buildup of self-loathing attitude. When you often feel that you are not good enough and that the things you do seem unappreciated, you tend to lose control over your purpose in life. Discouragement takes your confidence away and changes it to something you are not supposed to have. It becomes an excuse for not wanting and trying your best. It becomes a reason for quitting. It causes anxiety and depression. It becomes anything you can imagine negatively. It never allows you to progress. In the worst cases, it makes you think that there is nothing good in you.

You know when discouragement takes effect when you tend to lose interest in doing the things you used to love. There are passion and motivation that drift away together with your reason for aiming for success. Sometimes the transition is not that evident, though. But after an extended period, discouragement becomes a thing you only choose to have.

Discouragement And Mental Health

The significant purpose of discouragement in your life is to make you lose your mindfulness. That is because it can ruin your brain functions. Therefore, your actions, habits, and even personality change when this particular thing hits you. You may not seem to understand why it does affect you that much. But to explain it further, it is all because of its damage to your target areas, especially your emotions. According to Leslie Becker-Phelps, Ph.D., “One common way to help yourself is to think of times when you were in a good place. When failure discourages you, think of when you’ve succeeded. When depression makes you despair, think of when you were happy. By itself, this can be difficult to do. But you can do it.” Check out BetterHelp for more helpful tips in case you need more.

Yes, discouragement is meant to sabotage your emotional stability, where it pushes the adverse effects to ruin your mental health. It shifts your focus to those unnecessary things only. You get angry for little reasons. You get frustrated by not handling matters well. You feel unloved. You become less motivated to achieve anything. All that stuff that makes you hate life and more. But do not let that happen. You should take control.

Takeaway

Discouragements are always part of your every journey. It is not something you can shrug off anytime you want because it sticks like hell. But you have to remember that it will never define who you are. It will not make sense when you know you are working and trying your best in everything you do. Discouragements mean nothing when you learn to use it to your advantage. When you look at it differently, it might become a motivating tool for you to go on. So let it stays with you. But, never allow it to eat you up. So if you’re concern with your thoughts, seek help.

Donna M. White, LMHC, encourages us through these lines: “So when the times get tough, don’t get discouraged and don’t feel defeated. Hold your head up, stick your chest out and find your inner strength to forge forward.”